I had often heard that God is the ultimate and only true fulfillment of all our desires. We are said to have a “God-shaped hole” in our heart. I used to try to convince myself of this. “God is what I really want.” Really, it was more like God is what I should really want.

I have what you might call an “addictive personality.” If something is good, then more of that something must be even better, right? But as we all know, stuff runs out. Stomachaches happen. People disappoint. Lives end. Moths and rust destroy. That’s why we say, “Everything in moderation.” But are there any exceptions to this rule? In theory, yes. There is one: God. In fact, that might even be a decent definition for God. If there was one thing that you could desire without end and receive without end and without ever getting the proverbial stomachache—whatever that thing is, let’s call it “God”. Sounds nice.

Today I’m finding that it is more than just a theory for me. In other words, these days I’m finding that God is what I really want! How did I learn this? Mainly: by the attitude of heart that my Christian upbringing cultivated within me. When I was driven by illness and intellect to give up God as I knew Him, that did not change. In fact, it deepened. I am now free to give my life to the Ultimate, the Whole, the Reality outside of which there is no other. Perhaps the Universe is infinite. Then I give my life to the Infinite.

I no longer have to wonder whether my theology is right or not. In fact, I know that my brain will never be big enough to contain adequate concepts about God. None of our thoughts are adequate, so we should not put all our faith in any of them. They should always be provisional and expendable. “But if I give up my thoughts about God, where does that leave me?” It leaves you right here and right now. With God. Your heart is still beating. Be grateful for that, and just keep on being grateful. More and more and more!

Stop trying to define God, and you just might find God. Or be found!

There is a fullness to life that defies all our attempts to fill it. It is already full!

Usually, if you read something like this, you assume that the writer has relinquished all desire, made compromises with life, succumbing to a cop-out: “Life’s already full anyway.” It can be an excuse to give up on your dreams.

But what if the fullness I’m talking about is big enough and rich enough to fulfill all your deepest desires too? Wouldn’t that be awesome? What if life was already so full that it was like living in a garden full of trees bearing the most wonderful delights you could imagine? This sounds like a fairy tale, a pipe dream, wishful thinking. But what if it wasn’t? What if we already lived in the garden and had somehow come to deceive ourselves that there is no garden? How would that even be possible? Well, we’d basically have to be sleepwalking through life.

Imagine being in the most wonderful place ever, surrounded by beauty and love—everything sparkling with vibrant color. Wouldn’t it be horrible if, by some strange accident, you began to lose touch with the world around you, instead choosing to make your own private hell? With lack of exercise, entire sensory systems would atrophy, and you’d lose access to the world of beauty in which you lived—even though you never actually left! What a horrible tragedy that would be!

This, my friends, is the human condition. Yes, it’s a tragedy, but it’s also the best news in the world. It means that, in reality, you lack nothing. It means that, in reality, you are already in heaven, and there is no great gulf that you must cross. It means that, through faith and the cultivation of your lost senses, you can learn to open your spiritual eyes and wake up to the world in which you already live.

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.'” — Luke 15:31