Blessed assurance

I have never felt freer and more interested and excited to learn who and what Christ is than I do now, because I don’t need the answers to be any particular way.

If I was somehow given proof that Jesus never existed and Christianity was a hoax, I would be fundamentally okay, more than okay. So too if I learned there was no such thing as an afterlife. For that too would be a bonus. This life is abundantly more than enough. I’ve experienced an assurance of my “salvation” that does not depend on the truth of any religion, historical account, or theory of reality. All the theories and stories are the wonderful out-workings of whatever it is that this wonderful Life is made of. I trust in Life.

This is the ground from which I can most freely investigate and discover who Christ is—as a gift, a bonus, a Person worth following, a Spirit worth embodying. I do not *need* any of it to be true, for my needs are already met by whatever this blessed existence is in itself. Christianity’s truth does not depend on my need for its truth. I am not threatened by the prospect of its untruth, and its truth is not threatened by my intellectual freedom.

I know that my heart loves me, and I believe that the Universe is infused to the core with love. Maybe it’s Christ’s doing. Maybe Christ is the true name for that love. Or maybe it is one of many true names. These are things I’ll likely be working out for a long time.

But more than understanding, I want the heart of Jesus. It’s a special kind of love. A tear-stained love. What if Jesus never even existed? All I know is that Jesus exists enough.